10. Sales clichés

  1. “I know you said you're not interested but can I send you some information anyway?” ... Don't be a saddo!

  2. “If you don't sign this month the offer will expire” ... Really??? What, self destruct?

  3. “We're the biggest and the best” ... So what ??

  4. “The customer looked me in the eye and said he liked what I had to say” .... Do me a favour!

  5. “I can't think of any reason why we won't win this deal. I just wish I knew who the other bidder was” ... Doh!

  6. “It's 100% our deal ... I just hope the incumbent doesn't try and buy the business” ... And what will you do if they do ??

  7. “I've spoken to the decision maker and he's said if it were his decision he would definitely appoint us” ... Listen to yourself !!

  8. “It's definitely ours .. I just need to get the customer to sign the paperwork” ... How are you going to do that, force them ??

  9. “I've been talking to the MAN and it's ours ... He just needs to get final sign off from the budget holder .... Doh!!

  10. “We're one of four bidders but I reckon we've got a 50:50 chance” ... Em, and you're in sales ?!!

  11. “It's ours, decision in a month” ... ???

  12. “They've signed it off ... It just needs to go to the Finance Director” ... Ok, whatever!

  13. “They're not talking with anyone else” ... Err, do you know they've removed the word gullible from the dictionary !

  14. “They've loads of money” ... So what; do they burn it for fun ?!!

  15. “I've spoken to the decision maker and he says he likes us” ... Maybe you're the one being sold to !!!

  16. “My sales are poor because of the economy” ... What does that mean ??

  17. “It's with the FD so there's nothing more I can do” ... Really?? How about schedule a meeting with the FD !!!

  18. “I've done all I can, we just need to wait now” ... What happens if the competition calls the CEO tomorrow ?

  19. “Here's the org chart so we can guess the sign off process” ... Ok ... So, what's their Corporate Governance policy on sign off limits?

  20. “I'm dealing with the MAN” ... Sorry, but there is no MAN - there are only influencers and a budget holder. There's no Santa either.